The Healing Process after a break up
The healing process after any kind of break up is always vicious. No matter how long or how short the relationship was, you gave a part of yourself to that person and it makes you lose some of your own identity. You then identify yourself with this person and over time, your body and your brain gets used to it.
When you break up with that person, the brain and your mind goes through a very difficult road in trying to get back what you lost or what it identified with.
The emotions that come after certainly don’t help your cause.
This can and will commonly cause rational people to behave or react in ways they never imagined they could. They will beg for the girl back (I know I did), perhaps multiple times before realizing the magnitude of what they have done.
Perhaps you were fighting for a relationship that just wasn’t working out. But that inner voice (your ego) was just too strong and took over. You made the mistake of reaching out to your ex when you really shouldn’t have. We have all been there and made those same mistakes. It could be a drunk text after a night out, a moment of vulnerability or simply that we just couldnt fight the urge anymore.
We write or text our emotions to our ex when we really shouldn’t have.
No response.
Perhaps response.
You continue down that rabbit hole again and you make the same mistakes as you made last time and ruin the relationship because you listened to your ego.
The first lesson in healing is realizing that sometimes, the ego just needs to be fed for our rational minds to realize that what the ego wants is just plain stupid. You may make this mistake over and over but sooner or later you will get it and you will recognize it when it happens.
You text your ex.
You feel an immediate sense of guilt, like you betrayed your higher self.
Each time this happens you take more and more out of your confidence, your self-esteem and your sense of self.
This can happen until you feel like you are no longer your true self and you are just a broken and pathetic mess.
The ego is very destructive if you let it run its course and continually do its thing.
I have found that sometimes it is necessary for you to let your ego have its swing at the base to realize how terrible of a player it is. The ego always swings but it never hits the ball. In fact, it’s always striking out. Until you eventually lose the game and you lose yourself in the process.
The trick I have learned over many times is that you need to let your ego do its thing. Perhaps you finally cave in and text your ex how they have been. When it happens you realize that you just betrayed your morals, with a little bit (may be a lot) of concentration; you can realize that it was a terrible mistake and that your ego needed to betray you so you can realize that it was wrong. This is slowly how you gain your sense of self back.
You are broken, but everything that is broken can be fixed. Built back up again. Once you realize that you fell for its trap and let the ego have its swing. Your rational mind can take over and claim control again.
That stupid text you should have never sent, can become a learning lesson of why you need to stay the course and not fall back into ego feeding which can just lead to desperation. And desperation is a turn off to almost every regular person I can think of.
The trick is to let your ego have its swing, your higher self takes over and realizes what a dumb move it was and you can begin to take control of yourself again. Continually work to build yourself back up. Learn from that mistake and focus on working on yourself more. It is a process and it will take some time. Of course, learning to slowly love yourself again is the only way to attract someone new and the healthy relationships that we want.
Keep going for your aspirations. Push your newfound energy towards that and you will progress in your life and prosperity.
Remember, we are all just a work in progress.
